
Nannu chacha.. the name resonates in my heart, the name flashes memories of the last so so many years in seconds. There is something that I need to write but I don't know if its essence will be captured. The last that I met him, he was disturbed about his illness but if he knew that he was going so soon, then that was not evident in any way. He was brave and smiling. When I left, and thereafter too I always believed that in time, may be longer than usual, he will get alrite. If I imagined my life, I would see him around in our old age... talking, connecting just as it was 20, 10 or 5 yrs ago. Him being around and the friendship we shared would be the same , would feel the same even 40 yrs down the line. And if so was my feeling, I wonder what happened for him to go so randomly, so arbit. Or may be I was just hoping for him to be around.
My first memory of him is almost 25 yrs ago, when we first met , he came with some chocolates in a brown paper cover, a trend which he continued till the time he thot we were old enuff to not be enjoying chocolates any more. We were kiddies, and he must have been around 20 or less.... if I think of it now, there was no reason for him to really come and play with us or be with us, but he did choose that. He was playing with me and picked me and gestured to throw me down the balcony and gosh I was so scared and then he kept saying sorry... and I think it was there that our bond was made. In the last 25 years, if I met him a 100 times then I clearly remember at least 70 of our meetings. He was always full of affection not for everyone..but for the ones he connected with. And if he connected with someone then he was all theirs forever.
He would teach me Physics from Resnick and Haliday and we had heard that he was brilliant in his studies. As we grew up, there was a consensus amongst us kiddies that he was the most handsome and most gentle person in our family. He would drop in at my office for a quick coffee break and we would just chat about random things. He was always interested in listening and trying to solve any of my problems. Was always excited to tell about new PVR Projects or just have some philosophical chats. It was always comforting. We always sort or had meetings, like he would come , chat and go and it was just simple and comforting.
When someone dies, and we think of him, then we are able to actually see thru his soul, and I think he was an old soul who was too simple and yet extraordinary. I think he wanted to say something, but there is something he could never say and may be we connected at that point of silence and may be that was the case with everyone that he was attached to. His soul was wandering and finding people it called its own and believed in the general goodness. In all these years, I never had to put any effort to keep in touch , it was always him - he would call me the special one, but now that I read and see, he was the special one coz he touched so many lives without wanting anything in return, he made others special , he gave them a special place in his heart. I believe it must have been my very good deeds that he came to me in this life as an angel always floating around. And as well, i must have done something really wrong for him to have gone from my life so soon.
I will always and always miss him in every milestone of my life. I do feel that he will come around in some other way as someone else, and I hope to find him again in his new life. He gave my life beautiful memories to cherish - which he believed in I think - to create good memories. His presence made a difference. I will remember the twinkle in his eye when he purposely said something mischevious, his innocent smile, the way he would do ha ha ha, his chocolates, his randomness and above all his loving and affectionate nature. I will miss my very dear friend and the one last chat that I wanted to have with him but was never destined.
Lots of Love Gugu